She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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