Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize