but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
