dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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