Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
