Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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