i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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