New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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