Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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