So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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