Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
