I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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