All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
hell yes lets make some ravioli
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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