NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
