I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
