There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Terrible idea I love it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
My apartment stinks of burning failure
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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