she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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