I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
