I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
