It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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