Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She bit a glass in half.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
