I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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