she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
