I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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