Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
