I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
