Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
