he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
