am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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