You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just cropdusted the office
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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