it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
