OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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