Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
