I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
