I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
