he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
