I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
