I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
