found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
