As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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