you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
