Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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