dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
