I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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