all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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