so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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