i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
