Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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