we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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