and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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