hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
