Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize