yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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