i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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