Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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