piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
