Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Randomize
