Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
