hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
