just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
