actually, I'm a sock model
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
