Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize