do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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