You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
